The Bald and the Beautiful with Trixie and Katya

Studio71

  • 1 hour 39 seconds
    Tammie Brown & Ding-a-Lings in Shampoo Bottles with Trixie and Katya

    As part of our annual Pre-Pride Kink Safety Awareness Month, we'd like to offer you this episode featuring the iconic multi-hyphenate and eminent enfant terrible, Tammie Brown! The hour of magical audio and video you are about to consume shall serve as a helpful resource for safely integrating a shampoo bottle into your regular sex-tool-rotation. It's important to remember that while incorporating everyday objects into one's erotic endeavors, safety and preparation should be your guiding factors to ensure a positive experience for all parties involved. A helpful brochure about shampoo bottle butt play can be easily downloaded at SafeShampooSodomy4Ever.org for a one-time fee of $999.99 plus shipping & handling. Full-page illustrations have been provided by ex-Hanna-Barbera animators, and an AI hotline is available should any problems arise during your soapy escapades. As all of us here at Bald, LLC prepare for 2024 Pride, Tammie, Trixie, and Katya would like to wish you and yours a magnificent May filled with bottles, orifices, and most of all, a plethora of ding-a-lings.

    Don't miss Tammie Brown's Jubilee on May 16th in Los Angeles! Go to: https://bit.ly/TammieBrownsJubilee for more details!

    To try out America's #1 meal kit for eating well, go to https://GreenChef.com/BALD50 and use code BALD50 to get 50% off, plus 20% off your next two months!

    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

    Go to https://Liquiddeath.com/BALD to check out all of Liquid Death's healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer!

    To find and book a top-rated doctor today, go to https://Zocdoc.com/BALD and download the Zocdoc app for FREE!

    Follow Tammie: @PlanetTammie

    Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

    Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    14 May 2024, 7:00 am
  • 59 minutes 54 seconds
    Kelly Mantle & Two Space Heaters to the Face with Trixie

    Like a phoenix rising from the ashes of Sandy's ghost that was left in a frigid backstage green room on the Trixie and Katya Live tour, the exquisitely gorgeous, explosively hilarious, and effortlessly charming icon of stage and screen Kelly Mantle explodes into the studio like a jubilant grenade, spewing merriment into the faces of every human in the room. Close your shades, dim the lights, pour a pint of your favorite box wine, and slide into those special-occasion satin underwear for more than an hour of unfiltered elation with the one, the only: Kelly motherf**king Mantle.

    Take more control of your finances and say goodbye to monthly fees with Chime! Open your Chime account today in just a few minutes at https://Chime.com/BALD Chime. Feels like progress!

    Need to find the perfect gift for all the special people in your life? Don’t panic. Try Gift Mode on Etsy now! Head to: https://www.Etsy.com

    Rakuten's Big Give Week is back! From May 6th to May 13th, join Rakuten for free and get an extra 10% cash back boost. Go to https://Rakuten.com or download the Rakuten App today!

    Need a website? Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!

    Follow Kelly: @KellyMantle

    Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

    Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    7 May 2024, 7:00 am
  • 1 hour 5 minutes
    Monét X Change & the Subtle Levels of Crazy with Trixie

    Prepare yourselves to be regaled by tales of the magical, the mysterious, and most of all the memorable, as we welcome to the pod the Queen of Commerce, the Princess of Payments, the Baroness of Bankrolls, the Countess of Capital, the Duchess of Debt, the one, the only...(She is the MOMENT): Monét X Change!

    There’s no more shame in your gut game! Synbiotic+ and Ritual are here to celebrate, not hide, your insides. Get 25% off your first month for a limited time at https://Ritual.com/BALD

    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try and get 10% off your first month at https://Betterhelp.com/BALD Get on your way to being your best self with BetterHelp!

    Follow Monét X Change: @MonetXChange

    Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

    Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    30 April 2024, 7:00 am
  • 47 minutes 36 seconds
    Welcome to the Golden Fountain of Vitality with Trixie and Katya

    From ancient Indian yogic texts to brittle Chinese scrolls to the age of Egyptian Pharaohs when gods walked amongst us, Urine Therapy has been the secret, golden-hued cure for ailments both minor and severe. The miraculous results of Urophagia are almost too numerous to count. Whether you're drinking it, massaging it on your skin and gums, or completely submersing yourself in the sweet, golden waters of Urinaville, we at Bald, LLC are here to answer all your questions about the biggest, most earth-shattering development in medical research ever. #DrinkYourSpiggot #GoldenHealth #FreshHotCupOfHerbalPee

    *The content of this episode and its accompanying description are not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, treatment, or even common sense. Always consult with a qualified and licensed physician or other medical care provider, and follow their advice, as they are sure to tell you that you should NOT, under any circumstances, drink your own pee. Seriously. Don't be a brainless sh*tgibbon.

    **Furthermore, the author of this description and the hosts of this podcast assume no responsibility or liability for any errors or omissions in the content of this description and/or episode. If you engage in Urine Therapy, may whatever pagan god you worship have mercy on your idiotic soul.

    There’s no more shame in your gut game! Synbiotic+ and Ritual are here to celebrate, not hide, your insides. Get 25% off your first month for a limited time at https://Ritual.com/BALD

    Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

    Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    23 April 2024, 7:00 am
  • 49 minutes 32 seconds
    Nellie the Potato-Faced Humpty B*tch with Trixie and Katya

    This week on Little Bald on the Prairie, tune in for a very special episode that the whole family will enjoy. When lying-ass Nellie falls from Laura Ingalls' beloved horse Bunny, that little potato-faced humpty b*tch fakes paralysis rather than simply admit that she's profoundly bad at riding a horse. When Bunny is scheduled to be destroyed at the local glue factory, little Laura Ingalls assumes the hero's mantle and shoves Nellie's wheelchair down a friggin' mountain! In the end, Laura shows the entire world that Nellie sits on a wheelchair constructed entirely of lies. The moral of the story? Prairie b*tches be crazy.

    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. If you’re thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. Visit https://BetterHelp.com/BALD to get 10% off your first month!

    Need a website? Head to https://Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!

    Want to murder your thirst? Go to https://Liquiddeath.com/BALD to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer today!

    Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

    Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    16 April 2024, 7:00 am
  • 1 hour 31 minutes
    No Loads Refused: Live in Richmond, VA with Trixie and Katya

    Recorded live in the famed "Give Me Liberty or Give Me Death" capital city of Virginia, please join us for a cordial evening of spirited conversation about art, politics, and culture. After the dessert course, we shall retire to the parlour for a snifter of cognac and a lively debate about the finer points of testicular-grooming, Timothée Chalamet's bird-like features, and wired nipples.

    To try America's #1 Meal Kit, go to https://GreenChef.com/BALD50 and use code BALD50 to get 50% off, plus 20% off your next two months!

    To find and book a top-rated doctor today, go to https://Zocdoc.com/BALD and download the Zocdoc app for FREE!

    With Chime’s secure credit card, you can start improving your credit scores right away. Get started today at https://Chime.com/BALD

    Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

    Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    9 April 2024, 7:00 am
  • 49 minutes 10 seconds
    Plane Jane and Lieutenant Brigadier General Cuhntalina Badussy with Katya

    Behold, everyone's favorite Drag Race Season 16 faux-villain: Plane Jane! With her shared Boston roots and actual Russian ancestry, she is essentially the little sister of Katya everyone loves to faux-hate. From hot takes on Dune 2 to an affinity for Eastern European glam-pop, get ready for a Bald interview filled with tense smiles, deliciously-awkward pauses, and eventually a genuinely heart-warming bonding experience that will leave you with a restored faith in humanity.

    There’s no more shame in your gut game. Synbiotic+ and Ritual are here to celebrate, not hide, your insides. Get 25% off your first month for a limited time at https://Ritual.com/BALD

    Are you still feeding your cat kibble? Stop that! Head to https://Smalls.com/BALD and use promo code BALD at checkout for 50% off your first order PLUS free shipping!

    Need to build a website? Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!

    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://Betterhelp.com/BALD for 10% off your first month and get on your way to being your best self!

    Follow Plane Jane: @The_PlaneJane

    Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

    Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    2 April 2024, 7:00 am
  • 48 minutes 6 seconds
    Heels and Meals with Trixie and Katya

    In a world where fashion knows no boundaries, comes a story of self-discovery, unexpected transformations, and erotic culinary adventures. When Jack Huntley is about to lose his old-school diner to a landlord who wants a fancy new restaurant led by a celebrity female chef, he decides to take things into his own hands and become that female chef. With a blonde bouffant wig, 6-inch stilettos, and eyelashes as long as the Florida panhandle, Jack transforms into Jacqueline, the hottest chef in the tri-state area. But when Jack's best friend and sous-chef Randy falls in love with Jacqueline, it makes for a romance best served muy caliente! It's a story that proves once and for all that being true to yourself knows no gender. From the director of Sundance darling "Boyz Don't Eat Piez", comes a movie that breaks all the rules and celebrates the power of friendship, acceptance, and food-based kinks. This summer, experience a true gender-bender of a film. Don't miss "Heels & Meals". Coming soon to a theater near you!

    Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

    Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    26 March 2024, 7:00 am
  • 53 minutes 58 seconds
    Paul Blart: Mall Carp with Trixie and Katya

    When a Paramus, New Jersey Van Heusen factory outlet is taken over by a vicious gang of black-market avocado dealers from British Columbia, it's up to a mild-mannered security guard to stand up to the criminals and save those business-casual khakis! This Summer, robbing a boomer sportswear company isn't going to be as easy as shooting fish in a barrel. It's Paul Blart: Mall Carp to the rescue!

    There’s no more shame in your gut game. Synbiotic+ and Ritual are here to celebrate, not hide, your insides. Get 25% off your first month for a limited time at https://Ritual.com/BALD

    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://Betterhelp.com/BALD for 10% off your first month and get on your way to being your best self!

    To murder your thirst, go to https://LiquidDeath.com/BALD to check out all their healthy, infinitely recyclable beverages and find your closest retailer!

    Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

    Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    19 March 2024, 7:00 am
  • 46 minutes 37 seconds
    A Massage That Lives Happily Ever After with Trixie and Katya

    Welcome to Trixie & Katya's Le Poupée Spa, located in a gorgeously-restored halfway house in the beating heart of urine-soaked Hollywood. Forget your hideous spouse, your under-achieving children, and that rash on your inner thigh that simply won't go away, and let yourself slide into blissful relaxation with a massage that was created by six of Moldova's top massage therapists (including eight-time Eastern European Gluteus Maximus Massage of the Year champion Tatiana Svetlana Svetlaskabagoya). Afterwards, book an experimental liquid alloy surgery facial that isn't FDA-approved, but could be at some point in the future once the mysterious deaths are fully investigated. It's a wildly-invasive facial rejuvenation technique, combining state-of-the-art, semi-legal radio-wave technology with medical ingredients shipped in daily from Bulgaria. It drastically transforms skin via small doses of radiation and a thick layer of the same green slime that gave the teenage mutant ninja turtles their amazing martial arts skills. Come for one appointment at Le Poupée, and become a client for a lifetime. When you're here, you're not just a customer, you're one of the dolls.

    To find and book a top-rated doctor today, go to https://ZocDoc.com/BALD and download the Zocdoc app for FREE!

    If you’re 21+ and want to take your passion and pleasure to a whole new level, Try VIIA Hemp! Head to https://bit.ly/viiathebbpod and use code BALD to receive 15% off and a free sample!

    Visit https://LELO.com now for exclusive discounts on luxury intimacy products, and use code BALD10 at checkout for an additional 10% off your purchase!

    Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

    Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    12 March 2024, 7:00 am
  • 48 minutes 26 seconds
    You Are More Than Your Phone with Trixie and Katya

    We are proud to partner this week with the Anti Phone-Shaming League of North America to bring you a very important message: you, dear listeners, are so much more than your phone. Do you have an iPhone X? An iPhone SE? Or even an Android? You're not alone. We are here for you. We want you to know that you are loved, appreciated, and your self-worth is about so much more than that thin piece of glass and aluminum in your pocket. As you lay down tonight in your parents' basement on your tear-stained pillow, we want you to close your eyes and recite the following mantra: "Though I may not have the latest shiny iPhone, a socially-acceptable level of personal hygiene, or even the knowledge of what it's like to be loved; I am good enough, I am smart enough, and gosh darnit people like me."

    Start building your credit with Chime! Open a Chime Checking account with at least a $200 qualifying direct deposit to get started. Head to Chime.com/BALD or click here: https://www.chime.com/apply-debit/?ad=podcast_bald

    There’s no more shame in your gut game. Synbiotic+ and Ritual are here to celebrate, not hide, your insides. Get 25% off your first month for a limited time at https://Ritual.com/BALD

    It’s 2024. Are you still feeding your cat kibble? Head to https://Smalls.com/BALD and use promo code BALD at checkout for 50% off your first order PLUS free shipping!

    Need to build a website? Head to Squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you’re ready to launch, go to https://www.Squarespace.com/BALD to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain!

    This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at https://BetterHelp.com/BALD and get on your way to being your best self!

    Visit https://LELO.com now for exclusive discounts on luxury intimacy products, and use code BALD10 at checkout for an additional 10% off your purchase!

    DRIVE AWAY DOLLS is only in theaters now! Visit https://DriveAwayDollsMovie.com to get tickets now!

    Pure For Men is the brand for good health and good times! Made by gay men for members of the LGBTQIA+ community. Get 20% OFF with promo code: BALD20. Head to: https://puremen.co/baldandbeautiful

    Follow Trixie: @TrixieMattel

    Follow Katya: @Katya_Zamo

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

    5 March 2024, 8:00 am
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