The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

  • 10 minutes 57 seconds
    IMPERFIX: Dr. Kiran Martin - Leadership

    We mean no disrespect to any of our other guests, but when Hugh says that Dr. Kiran Martin, is the most impressive person he has ever met, it’s hard not to agree.

    Dr. Kiran Martin is the founder of ASHA in India. It’s a not for profit, that for over 35 years, has provided healthcare and education to millions of people living in slums in India.

    In this clip, Dr Kiran tells us of the time she decided to wash the feet of a Dalit woman (an ‘untouchable’ in the caste system of India) in order to demonstrate humility. And it was this moment of true leadership that lead to a feet washing movement throughout ASHA, breaking down caste barriers in the process.

    You can learn more, or support Dr. Kiran Martin and ASHA’s work here. https://bit.ly/44Fl1WP.

    To listen to the full episode with Dr. Kiran Martin, click here https://link.chtbl.com/OjRxhECI

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    17 May 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 1 hour 11 minutes
    Reece Conca - Tackling Male Infertility

    All too often when talking about infertility, we only tell one side of the story. Traditionally in the public discourse, it has very much fallen into the category of a ‘women’s issue’. However, as our guest this week Reece Conca can all too painfully attest, 40% of infertility issues are actually male factor related.

    Reece Conca is a former Australian Rules Footballer, who played over 150 games for Richmond and Freemantle.

    When Reece and his partner Bell were finding it difficult to conceive, it took them far too long to discover that Reece has a condition called Azoospermia, which effects 1% of men - a condition where in Reece had no sperm in his semen.

    In this Vulnerabiltea House, Reece speaks openly and honestly about the physical and emotional toll of a fertility journey he is very much still on, the hormone injections, the surgeries and much, much more. 

    To follow Annabelle and Reece on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@annabelleandreece

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    12 May 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 13 minutes 6 seconds
    IMPERFIX: Luke McGregor - Living With Anxiety

    In this episode of the IMPERFIX, we revisit our chat with Australian comedian Luke McGregor. Many of us live with Anxiety, Luke McGregor has for a lot of his life. For Luke, his anxiety became so overwhelming that it resulted in him having panic attacks on stage in front of audiences. In this clip Luke explains what anxiety looks like for him and what he now does to manage his anxiety, allowing him to continue to work and to get the most out of life.

    You can hear the original episode in full, with Luke McGregor, here https://link.chtbl.com/5Izyw-wD

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    10 May 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 1 hour 14 minutes
    James Clear - Down The Habit Hole

    Every Thursday over 3 million people want to hear what James Clear has to say. They do so in the form of his ‘3-2-1 newsletter’, one of most popular newsletters on the planet. In 2018 James Clear published his book Atomic Habits, a comprehensive, practical guide on how to change your habits and get 1% better every day. And that book has now sold over 15million copies. So you won’t be surprised to hear how excited we were to have Jame Clear as this weeks guest lecturer in The Academy of Imperfection.

    In this episode we learn about the importance of habits. Both the good and bad ones. We learn James’s four laws of behaviour change (make it obvious, make it attractive, make is easy, make it satisfying); the value of goals; we discuss Josh, Hugh and Ryan’s own personal history with habit setting; and how small incremental changes to your habits can set you on the path to achieving your goals and ultimately becoming the kind of person you would like to be.

    You can purchase James Clear’s best selling book - Atomic Habits here, https://bit.ly/3UKx0in.

    If you would like to subscribe to James’ 3-2-1 Newsletter, click here, https://bit.ly/44swR6o.

    And you can find James’ habit tracking app ‘Atoms’ here https://bit.ly/4b1Pq41

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    5 May 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 20 minutes 21 seconds
    IMPERFIX: Johann Hari & Josh Talk About Addiction

    In this episode of the IMPERFIX we revisit one of our many conversations with Johann Hari. However this IMPERFIX starts with Josh, delivering what may be one of the most powerful and moving acts of vulnerability we’ve ever seen on this podcast, when he felt compelled to share a realisation, that he had been addicted to the internet for much of his life. Johann’s response was as always, heartfelt, engaging, hopeful and empowering. And we thought it was worth revisiting.

    You can hear the episode in full here. https://link.chtbl.com/iusc6YA6

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    3 May 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 1 hour 32 minutes
    Pallavi Sharda - Where We Belong

    What would you do if a teacher said you couldn’t achieve your dreams because your hair and skin colour weren’t acceptable?

    When this became Pallavi Sharda’s reality she moved to India by herself and became the first Australian women to lead a Bollywood movie

    In this episode we meet Pallavi Sharda, a powerhouse actress, who grew up in Taylors Lakes, a suburban area in Melbourne’s west, who went on to not only clock Bollywood, but see tremendous success on screens in Australia, the UK and the US.

    Pallavi is a VERY impressive person, but she grew up believing that she needed to be exceptional in order to have value in Australia. From living with racism as a second generation immigrant, to navigating Bollywood as a foreigner, Pallavi has been on a search for belonging, carving out a place in the world for herself & all future generations of ‘multi-hyphenated’ Australians.

    To listen to the Audible Original podcast, Sleep Sound with Pallavi Sharda**,** follow this link: *https://bit.ly/4bhkeNV*

    To watch Pallavi in 'Wedding Season' on Netflix, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3UBUdDh

    To watch Pallavi in the Australian series, 'The Twelve', follow this link: https://bit.ly/4dins5j

    To watch Pallavi in 'The One' on Netflix, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3UE4GhL

     

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    28 April 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 22 minutes 27 seconds
    IMPERFIX: How to Live Again, with Sam Willoughby.

    In this week’s ImperFIX, we revisit an episode from season 2 with Australian BMX racer, world champion and Olympian, Sam Willoughby. In 2016, Sam experienced a life-changing neck injury which left him a tetraplegic.

    In this snippet, we hear Sam describe the bike accident that lead to his injury and his incredible journey of recovery. Most importantly, he shares how meeting NASCAR crew chief, Booty Barker, inspired him to live life again.

    You can hear the full chat with Sam Willoughby here https://link.chtbl.com/GzlSMclz.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    26 April 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 1 hour 1 minute
    Dr Emily - Joy Decision

    Have you ever felt so elated, that in that very moment, you felt yourself and the world around you were in perfect harmony? That feeling is joy! 

    But for many of us, ‘joy’ can seem elusive, almost impossible to experience, or an emotion that we feel we just don’t have time for. And for some of us, it may feel like we have lost the ability to experience joy altogether. 

    In this episode, our resident psychologist Dr Em explores the experience of Joy. What is it and how we can tap into it. We learn how mobilising joy is and how infectious and connecting it can be. 

    Because as Dr Em explains, we are often surrounded by joy in our everyday lives,  but don’t pause long enough to see it. 

    This is an incredibly powerful, uplifting conversation, but it may be difficult to listen to if you're currently experiencing hardship or trauma. If you'd like to skip this one, we encourage you to come back when you're ready.

    To watch this episode on youtube follow this link: https://youtu.be/JPJ5UXm-5LI

    To listen to Gina Chick’s episode of The Imperfects, follow this link: https://link.chtbl.com/Ginachick.

    To hear Sean Turnell’s episode of The Imperfects, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3UaXmJ3

    To stream Inside Out on Disney+ follow this link https://bit.ly/49C7gc7

    To read the Betoota Advocate follow this link https://bit.ly/3JkO3kC, or you can read The Onion here https://bit.ly/3U1SUfg.

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    21 April 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 31 minutes 45 seconds
    An Imperfect Chat About Men

    In this bonus episode of The Imperfects, Hugh, Ryan and Josh have an imperfect conversation about mens violence against women.

    To say it's a massive problem in Australia is an understatement. Violence and aggression can take many forms that span from small micro-aggressions all the way through to rape and murder. It effects ALL women, with the most vulnerable and marginalised in our community, at the greatest risk. We don’t have the answers to solve it. But we don’t want to remain silent. Through this conversation and many more we'll have on the podcast, it’s our hope that more men start to have the conversation as well.

    You can follow Penny Moodie’s advocacy on instagram here, https://bit.ly/3JIBf81.

    To listen to our previous episode on consent with Chanel Contos follow this link: https://link.chtbl.com/mhDPOcpH

    Or to purchase Chanel's book, Consent Laid Bare, follow this link: https://bit.ly/49BNDRC

    To listen to our previous conversation about men’s violence with Tarang Chawla follow this link: https://link.chtbl.com/9ps_S1kW

    To learn more about this problem or we recommend Our Watch https://bit.ly/3w0BQhV & White Ribbon https://bit.ly/3W6nMhs

    If you are a man concerned about your behaviour please contact No To Violence: https://bit.ly/3UlyiA5

    If you feel like you are in immediate danger please call 000. If you need someone to talk to we recommend the national 24-hour sexual assault, family and domestic violence counselling line 1800 RESPECT on 1800 732 732.

    Or, you can call SafeSteps, Victoria's 24/7 family violence crisis service, on 1800 015 188, or visit this link: https://bit.ly/4b1SlsQ. They can provide financial and material aid, pet safety support and court advocacy, as well as support to people with a disability. 
    Or, for further support, contact The Orange Door, who can link you with family violence and parental support services: https://bit.ly/3Q8efTb

    If you need support now, use Ask Izzy: a free website and service that connects people in need with housing, a meal, money help, family violence support & counselling: https://bit.ly/3xAVnG4

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    18 April 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 1 hour 26 minutes
    Fern Brady - Autistic in a Non-Autistic World

    In this episode, Scottish comedian, Fern Brady joins us in the The Vulnerabilitea House.

    In pulling the card “how would your ambitions change if you only had one year to live?”, Fern shares a very recent story, after receiving a terrifying phone call from her doctor.

    Fern also discusses being diagnosed with Autism in her 30s, 20 years after telling a doctor she thought she was Autistic. 

    Fern talks with with great insight and humour, not only about life since her diagnosis, but what it was like living for 30 years with Autism and not knowing - always feeling different to the average person…yet having no idea why.

    She's an all round brilliant human and we know you are going to love this conversation as much as we did! 

    To watch the full episode on YouTube click here: https://youtu.be/-DLkVQj8N34

    To purchase Fern’s book, 'Strong Female Character', follow this link: https://bit.ly/4aSot20.

    To see Fern’s Comedy special on Netlfix follow this link: https://bit.ly/49AkQNp.

    And you can see Fern’s hilarious promo featuring her dad, here https://bit.ly/3vVRb3a

    There are still tickets available Fern’s antipodean Live tour “I gave you milk to drink”. Tickets still available in Sydney https://bit.ly/49usjgM, & NZ https://bit.ly/3TYM0r9.

    To learn more about the Hidden Disabilities Sunflower Lanyard Fern talks about in this episode, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3Q466iC

    You can purchase the book Aspergirls by Rudy Simone here https://bit.ly/3QmYKXZ, and you can stream Six Feet Under here https://bit.ly/3TTZRiD.

    To try Sam Harris’s meditation app you can follow this link: https://bit.ly/4d7HrUz
    Or to read his book Lying, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3vGDHIK

    To see Susan Boyle’s Britain’s Got Talent Audition, follow this link: https://bit.ly/3VTeKUY

    The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    14 April 2024, 8:00 pm
  • 10 minutes 31 seconds
    IMPERFIX: Imposter Syndrome with Hamish Blake

    Imposter syndrome and self doubt aren’t necessarily things you think when you think of Australian comedian Hamish Blake. However when Hamish visited us for a VulnerabilTea House in season 4, that’s exactly what came up.

    In this episode of The IMPERFIX, we revisit  a vulnerable moment where Josh shared his very real self doubt about his role on the show. This evolves into a beautiful conversation about the self doubt we all feel in the work we do, and culminates in Hamish dropping one of the greatest analogies of all time.

    To listen to the full episode with Hamish Blake, follow this link:  https://link.chtbl.com/IppXW33h

    See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

    10 April 2024, 8:00 pm
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