[Content warning: this episode contains a brief mention of suicide. If you prefer to not listen to this moment, please skip this week's listener question segment at the end of the episode]

Nedra Tawwab returns to Reimagining Love to discuss what can be our most challenging and vulnerable relationships: difficult relationships with our Families of Origin. Nedra offers empowering tools and relational strategies to help us adapt and redefine these relationships; tools to help us acknowledge when our family members have changed and accept when they cannot. Together, Nedra and Dr. Alexandra explore how this theme connects with a wide variety of topics: the tricky dynamics of in-laws, differing perspectives around the past, and how to navigate painful decisions around estrangement.

Relevant links:

Drama Free: A Guide to Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships by Nedra Glover Tawwab

The Drama Free Workbook: Practical Exercises for Managing Unhealthy Family Relationships by Nedra Glover Tawwab

Listen to Nedra's podcast, You Need to Hear This

Connect with Nedra online and on Instagram

Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day

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In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra examines a central tension in all relationships: the need for space versus togetherness. If you often find yourself wanting more connection, are you needy? If you typically need more space, are you avoidant? Here, Dr. Alexandra encourages us to ditch the labels and pathology, and instead acknowledge that both space and connection are fundamental needs in an intimate relationship. To help you navigate this, Dr. Alexandra shines a light on the meaning we assign to our orientations around space and shares strategies to help you and your partner create agreements that maximize connection and minimize resentment.

Relevant links:

Access this episode's companion worksheet here

Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Esther Perel

Reimagining Love Episode: "Let's Talk About 'Sleep Divorces'"

Hermeneutic Labor: The Gendered Burden of Interpretation in Intimate Relationships between Women and Men by Ellie Anderson

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Author Molly Roden Winter joins Reimagining Love to share her story of opening up her marriage as a happily married mother and the hard-earned and profound truths she learned along the way. For Molly, her journey of non-monogamy opened her up to more: more choice and self-discovery, and feeling more than her roles as a mother and wife. 

Relevant links:

More: A Memoir of Open Marriage by Molly Roden Winter

New York Magazine's "A Practical Guide to Modern Polyamory"

Connect with Molly online

Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

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Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

What would change if, instead of prioritizing romantic relationships, we made friendships the center of our lives? NPR's Rhaina Cohen joins Reimagining Love to explore the possibilities embedded within that question. In her new book, Rhaina invites us into the worlds of people who've organized their lives around deep friendship and, in doing so, challenge our ideas and assumptions about which relationships should be at the heart of a fulfilling life. 

Relevant links:

The Other Significant Others: Reimagining Life with Friendship at the Center by Rhaina Cohen

Listen to "Dear Friend," the song inspired by Rhaina's book

Connect with Rhaina online

"Parent–adult child estrangement in the United States by gender, race/ethnicity, and sexuality" from the Journal of Marriage and Family

Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day

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Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath join Reimagining Love to share the story of their relationship—the story that inspired their new book, Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire. In this conversation, they get vulnerable about how they moved from breaking up to fostering breakthroughs; a journey they nurtured through what they call 'a sacred pause.' In the sacred pause, they identified the patterns that blocked their ability to find authentic love so that they could build a new relationship rooted in safety and interdependence.

Relevant links: 

Liberated Love: Release Codependent Patterns and Create the Love You Desire by Mark Groves and Kylie McBeath

After purchasing Liberated Love, access the PDF Workbook and free Meditation 

Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

Submit a Listener Question

Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'

Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Throughout her decades as a therapist, Dr. Alexandra has helped many people navigate being "the affair partner." Participating in infidelity creates an intoxicating yet profoundly confusing blend of emotions and experiences. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra examines the psychology of this role and offers a compassionate look into the surrounding context: the thrills, secret benefits, sources of shame, and potential origin stories embedded within this controversial role.

Relevant links:

"A Great Wagon" by Rumi

Journal of Sex & Martial Therapy: "Object of Desire Self-Consciousness Theory" by Anthony F. Bogaert and Lori A. Brotto

"Taking Sexy Back" by Dr. Alexandra Solomon

Facebook Group: Esther Perel Discussion Group

Reimagining Love episode: "Guidance for the Newly Single"

Order Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

Submit a Listener Question

Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'

Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

In this solo episode, Dr. Alexandra confronts a common roadblock to repair: shame. Often, in the wake of relational harm, feelings of shame secretly run the show, causing you to get combative and defensive or freeze, flee, or fawn in essential moments. Dr. Alexandra provides strategies for moving from shame into action—so that you can make yourself available for repair—and gives tangible tips for how to make a heartfelt and effective apology.

Relevant links:

Access this episode's companion worksheet here

Reimagining Love episode: "Why Can't I Get Over It?"

Dr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or Deceit

Brené Brown's TED Talk: Listening to Shame

Building Self-Esteem: How Learning from Shame Helps Us to Grow by Joseph Burgo

Order Dr. Alexandra’s new book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

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Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'

Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Ten years after "conscious uncoupling" first entered the public lexicon, Katherine Woodward Thomas joins Reimagining Love to discuss her powerful rebrand of what's possible after a breakup or divorce. Through sharing her story and dissecting the cultural myths that cause us to view divorce as a failure, Katherine encourages us to bring a sense of generosity and intentionality to the process so that we can transform our relationships with our former partner, ourselves, and our futures.

Relevant links:

Conscious Uncoupling: 5 Steps to Living Happily Even After by Katherine Woodward Thomas

Calling in the One: 7 Weeks to Attract the Love of Your Life (Revised) by Katherine Woodward Thomas

Connect with Katherine online and on Instagram

Marriage, a History: How Love Conquered Marriage by Stephanie Coontz

The Good Divorce by Constance Ahrons

Uncoupling: Turning Points in Intimate Relationships by Diane Vaughan

Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day

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Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Esther Boykin joins Dr. Alexandra for an expansive conversation around the intersection of mental health and our careers. Esther highlights the difference between self-care and self-compassion, and points us towards using self-compassion as an essential tool for improving both our personal and work lives. When we bring self-compassion to our careers, we prevent burnout by opening up a deeper connection to our common humanity. Together, Esther and Dr. Alexandra then respond to a listener who thinks her relationship is being held back by her partner's ambition.

Relevant links:

Connect with Esther online and on Instagram

Learn more about Therapy Is Not A Dirty Word and the Compassion Collective

Who Not How: The Formula to Achieve Bigger Goals Through Accelerating Teamwork by Dan Sullivan

Reimagining Love episode: "Talking about the Future: Navigating a Pace Discrepancy"

Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

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Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

What does it feel like to be in a securely attached relationship? Renowned relationship expert and therapist Julie Menanno joins Reimagining Love to illuminate what we can learn from examining secure attachments. Together with Dr. Alexandra, Julie help anxious and avoidant partners understand each other by guiding us through how different attachment styles show up in tender moments. Ultimately, Julie reminds us that the purpose of attachment work is to help us heal from our past unmet needs so that we can form secure attachments today.

Relevant links:

Secure Love: Create a Relationship That Lasts a Lifetime by Julie Menanno

Connect with Julie online and on Instagram

Order Dr. Alexandra's new book, Love Every Day

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter

Submit a Listener Question

Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'

Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships

Deceit, infidelity, and betrayal profoundly shake our inner worlds. If you're struggling to heal from relational harm, you may be endlessly ruminating on the past and wondering why you can't just let it go. In this episode, Dr. Alexandra breaks down the process of forgiveness and provides seven reasons why you can’t get over it. 

Relevant links:

Access this episode's companion worksheet here

Dr. Alexandra's e-course: Can I Trust You Again? Rebuilding after Betrayal or Deceit

Reimagining Love episode: "Tending to "Little You" & Exploring Your Family of Origin"

Taking Sexy Back: How to Own Your Sexuality and Create the Relationships You Want by Dr. Alexandra Solomon

Subscribe to Dr. Alexandra’s Newsletter 

Submit a Listener Question 

Try First Round's on Me premium with code 'DOCTOR'

Listen to Dateable: Your insider's look into modern dating and relationships