Today, we're diving deep into something that touches so many of us—why we seek external validation and approval from others, and how healing our younger parts can set us free. If you've ever found yourself people-pleasing, perfecting, over-performing, or seeking approval from others, this episode is for you.We’ll explore:
✔️ Why younger parts of us drive our overfunctioning tendencies
✔️ How unmet childhood needs shape our patterns of guilt and perfectionism
✔️ The difference between external validation and true inner security
✔️ My own journey of reconnecting with an 8-year-old part of me (and how it changed everything)
✔️ Simple, practical ways you can start reparenting your younger self today
Whether you're longing for more joy, play, and vitality—or you're ready to step off the hamster wheel of approval-seeking—this episode will give you tools to start reconnecting with the young parts of you that have been waiting for your attention.
Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.
Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.
If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love:
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Music by Andy Luiten
Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
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In this unmissable bonus episode, Dr. Alison chats with Carlos Whittaker, best-selling author and podcast host, about his life-changing experience of going screen-free for seven weeks.
Immersing himself in the world of monks and Amish farmers, Carlos took a bold step away from the digital grind to reclaim his sense of connection with God, his community, and himself.
Tune in to discover the profound life lessons Carlos learned from his digital detox, and how you, too, can find the simple joys of human connection in your daily life. You'll leave this episode inspired to make meaningful changes that enhance your connections with those around you!
Pick up Carlos Whittaker's new book, Reconnected.
Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.
Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.
If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love:
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Music by Andy Luiten
Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Have you ever wondered how to transform daily stress into personal strength and resilience?
In today's must-listen episode, Dr. Alison is joined by the incredible Aundi Kolber, a trauma therapist and bestselling author of Try Softer. You’ll hear the backstory behind Aundi's latest book, Take What You Need and learn tools needed to develop and practice self-compassion. This episode covers:
* How to recognize when you're outside of your window of tolerance
* What most of us have gotten wrong about developing resilience
* The research behind self-compassion and why it leads to unexpected strength
* A beautiful metaphor from the Bible to empower and encourage you on your own journey of healing
Order Take What You Need here
Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.
Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.
If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love:
Thanks to our sponsors:
Music by Andy Luiten
Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Do you feel guilty for not doing enough—or take responsibility for things that aren’t yours to own?
Today Dr. Alison tackles the complex feelings of guilt and self-doubt—what guilt truly is, why it can feel so crushing, and how it often stems from taking responsibility for things that aren’t yours to own. She shares from her own journey of overcoming excessive guilt and the life-changing perspective that finally set her free.
Here’s what we cover:
* How to distinguish between true guilt and false guilt, and why it matters
* The #1 most important question to ask yourself when guilt takes over
* 3 buried emotions underneath false guilt
* Why excessive guilt damages your relationships
* 3 steps to help you understand and manage the voice of guilt in your life
Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.
Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.
If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love:
Thanks to our sponsors:
Music by Andy Luiten
Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What if the behaviors you turn to for comfort—whether it’s overworking, people-pleasing, or numbing out—aren’t the real problem, but rather a signal from a part of you that’s desperately trying to help?
In this powerful and delightful episode, I sit down with Ian Morgan Cron—bestselling author and renowned Enneagram expert—to explore the fascinating intersections between Internal Family Systems (IFS) and the 12 Steps.
Here's what we cover. . .
* Why we’re all addicts in some way—and how the 12 Steps apply to everyone
* What “firefighters” are in Internal Family Systems (IFS) and how they work to protect us
* The true source of numbing behaviors
* The surprising and liberating goal of the 12 Steps and what it means for all of us
* Practical ways to find a safe person to share your struggles honestly and vulnerably
* How we can all achieve emotional sobriety
Pick up Ian's new book The Fix wherever books are sold.
Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.
Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.
If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love:
Thanks to our sponsors:
Music by Andy Luiten
Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Are you always the one taking care of and fixing problems for everyone else?
Today, I'm taking a deep dive into the heart of overfunctioning—exploring why so many of us feel compelled to take on excessive responsibilities, often at the cost of our own well-being. I delve into parentification, which I believe often lies at the root of overfunctioning. I also share how understanding these dynamics through Mel Robbins' "Let Them Theory" can offer powerful insights for change.
Whether you're tired of always being 'the responsible one' or you're seeking to understand your deep-seated need to please others, this discussion will clarify the roots of these behaviors and guide you toward a path of healing and freedom.
Here’s what we cover:
*What is overfunctioning, and how does it impact your life?
*How childhood parentification fuels overfunctioning in adulthood
*5 clear signs you were parentified as a child
*3 practical steps to start healing
*How Mel Robbins’ Let Them Theory transforms boundary setting
Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.
Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.
If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love: Episode 5: What is Codependency and Why Does it Matter?
Thanks to our sponsors:
Music by Andy Luiten
Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
What’s the secret to healing marriage struggles and fostering deep connection?
In this heartfelt and incredibly vulnerable conversation, Ron and Nan Deal share their journey of rebuilding a marriage that almost unraveled. Drawing from their new book, The Mindful Marriage, they reveal how understanding and managing your own pain cycles can transform relationships. Whether you’re married, single, or navigating any relationship, this episode offers profound wisdom and practical tools for emotional and personal growth.
Episode Highlights:
* Explore one couple's journey through shame, blame, and rediscovering connection.
* Learn 4 Pain Cycles that disrupt relationships and how to break free from them.
* Uncover practical steps to nurture your relationship’s “us-ness” without losing yourself.
* Learn what to do when you're willing to do the work—but your partner isn't.
Get your copy of The Mindful Marriage here.
Take the free assessment Ron and Nan mention in the episode here.
For more insights and tools for emotional and relational health, subscribe to Dr. Alison’s weekly email newsletter here.
Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.
If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love:
Thanks to our sponsors:
Music by Andy Luiten
Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How do you experience loving attachment when trauma leaves you feeling shattered?
In this incredibly profound and insightful episode, therapist and author of the brand new book, Sacred Attachment, Michael Cusick joins us to explore how our darkest moments of brokenness are not just moments of pain, but pivotal opportunities for forming a deeper, more secure attachment with God. Michael shares about his own healing journey as a result of complex trauma, and we unpack how our pain can bring us even closer to encounters with God’s love. Today’s episode is for everyone who has ever felt broken. We discuss. . .
*5 way of understanding brokenness (and why the "sin" paradigm falls short)
*Why mystical encounters are for all of us
*A jaw-dropping moment when Michael experienced God's love
*The role of imagination in healing
*How to restore exiled and wounded parts of us
Order Sacred Attachment
Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.
If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love:
Thanks to our sponsors:
Music by Andy Luiten
Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Feeling exhaustion or post-holiday blues? How can we step into the New Year feeling refreshed and empowered?
In this honest and vulnerable conversation, spiritual director and author Anjuli Paschall and I unpack our own journeys through holiday people-pleasing and how to reset for the New Year. As we close out the year, many of us grapple with a mix of relief and disappointment, compounded by the pressure of New Year's resolutions and the desire to start fresh. Anjuli offers her expert guidance on understanding these dynamics and introduces practical steps and spiritual practices to help us move forward with hope and clarity.
Here’s what we cover:
* How to break free from holiday people-pleasing
* The #1 way to stop trying to control other people’s feelings
* Why post-holiday let down happens & what to do
* How to develop and cultivate aspirational feelings in your body
* Why the hope of a new year sometimes hurts & how to navigate those feelings
* Prayers to move through complicated emotions
Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.
Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.
If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love:
Thanks to our sponsors:
Music by Andy Luiten
Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
Are you curious about how science and spirituality intersect in understanding and treating mental health conditions like OCD?
This week, therapist and spiritual director Ryan Kuja shares his incredible journey through the complex world of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder (OCD). From a young age, Ryan battled intrusive thoughts and repetitive behaviors. Feeling isolated and overwhelmed, at 17, he cried out to God—a pivotal moment that launched him into an unexpected exploration of mysticism, neurobiology, and the intricacies of diagnosis. This episode is designed for everyone, whether you or someone you love is dealing with OCD, or you're simply interested in gaining a deeper understanding of the diverse human experience.
Here’s what we cover:
* Ryan recounts the pivotal moment at 17 when his struggle with OCD drove him to seek divine intervention
* The difference between OCD and common intrusive thoughts—what sets them apart?
* An overview of the latest and most effective treatments for OCD, from clinical approaches to innovative therapies
* Ryan shares the spiritual practices that have not only helped manage his OCD but also enriched his spiritual journey
Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.
Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.
If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love:
Thanks to our sponsors:
Music by Andy Luiten
Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices
How do you move from feeling stuck to finding meaning and healing in your grief?
In today’s episode, I’m honored to speak with David Kessler, one of the world’s foremost experts on grief and the author who expanded Elisabeth Kübler-Ross’s original five stages of grief by adding a sixth stage: meaning. We explore how common reactions like avoidance, blame, and bargaining are a normal part of the grieving process, and how finding meaning can be a transformative step toward healing. Whether you’re grieving a loss or supporting someone who is, this conversation will help you better understand the continuum of grief and the power of creating meaning.
Here's what we cover:
* The 5 stages of grief and how different parts of us experience loss
* David’s 6th stage of grief and how it developed out of his own story
* The most important question to ask someone who is grieving
* David’s 7 guidelines for creating meaning after loss
* Why grief is intimately linked to joy
Have a question for Dr. Alison? Leave it here.
Find a full transcript and list of resources from this episode here.
If you enjoyed this episode, you'll love:
Thanks to our sponsors:
Music by Andy Luiten
Sound editing by Kelly Kramarik
While Dr. Cook is a counselor, the content of this podcast and any of the products provided by Dr. Cook are not specific counseling advice nor are they a substitute for individual counseling. The content and products provided on this podcast are for informational purposes only.
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices