Ask Dr. Julie Hanks

Dr. Julie Hanks

Each week Dr. Hanks coaches a real person through a common life challenge. Listen to Ask Dr. Julie Hanks for healing conversations that educate and empower women to prioritize their needs, revolutionize their families, and personalize their faith.

  • 30 minutes
    Bonus Episode: Stepping back from the LDS Church? How to do so in a Psychologically Healthy Way with Valerie Hamaker

    This bonus episode of the podcast is for anyone who is wanting to step back from The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints while also protecting their mental health. Listen as fellow LDS therapist Valerie Hamaker and I share insight on important topics like why people choose to leave  the LDS Church after a faith transition and how to develop the crucial skill of setting boundaries.

    Stepping back? How to Leave in a Psychologically Healthy Way

    If you choose to leave and want to protect your mental health, Valerie and I are hosting a discussion series just for you. This 4-week Q&A discussion series will help you find clarity, set boundaries, maintain relationships, and build community.

    The discussion covers potential challenges such as navigating changes in relationships with family and the larger community, managing internalized beliefs and fears, and the grief that accompanies leaving one's spiritual community. 

    Each hour session is held remotely via Zoom. Spots are extremely limited, so don’t wait to sign up.

    Four hour-long sessions with two therapists is an absolute steal of a deal. While this series is valued at $2,000, you can sign up today for only $169.

    Stepping back from the Church? Join us here

    Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

    Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

    If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

    30 April 2024, 7:00 am
  • 22 minutes 41 seconds
    How do I heal from a patriarchal marriage and let go of resentment I’m carrying towards the LDS Church?

    Listen as I chat with Alyssa and answer the question “How do I heal from a patriarchal marriage and let go of resentment I’m carrying towards the LDS Church?” Alyssa and her husband reevaluated the lessons they were taught about marriage and have worked to move toward a partnership model. She feels angry when she thinks about the time she lost living in a patriarchal marriage and sad when she thinks about her past self who didn’t feel empowered.

    I invite Alyssa to allow herself to feel the anger that comes up when she thinks about what she lost. Pushing the anger away will only prolong her healing.

    No experience is wasted. There are opportunities Alyssa didn’t have in a patriarchal marriage, and she also gained certain experiences during that time that help her to be who she is today. There are opportunities wasted, but the work that she has been doing is still meaningful. Caring for a home and family is meaningful work. And now she gets to do it consciously and with balance while building a life she loves.



    Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

    Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

    If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

    9 April 2024, 7:00 am
  • 28 minutes 19 seconds
    How do I pursue a high-powered career and still show up as the mom I want to be?

    In this podcast episode I sit down with Mallory and answer the question “How do I pursue a high-powered career and still show up as the mom I want to be?” Mallory recently went back to work part-time and is feeling immense guilt. It feels like she can’t win: When she is at work, she feels like she should be staying home with her children (and feel fulfilled while doing it). And when she is at home with her kids, she feels like she should be working harder.

    I point out that Mallory is carrying around a lot of “shoulds.” We unpack why she struggles to prioritize her needs and wants. We also do an exercise that could be helpful for those listening if you also struggle with the guilt that comes from feeling there are things that you “should” be doing.



    Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

    Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

    If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

    26 March 2024, 7:00 am
  • 21 minutes
    How can I better communicate to my husband that I’m not comfortable letting our child sleep at my in-laws’ house?

    In this episode I talk with Diana and answer the question “How can I better communicate to my husband that I’m not comfortable letting our child sleep at my in-laws’ house?” Diana is not okay with either herself or her child sleeping there because years ago, her father-in-law was arrested for child molestation. Her husband has struggled to respect this boundary.

    Diana and I roleplay a conversation with her husband where she holds this boundary firm. She has the right to say no to sleepovers, to trust her intuition, and to set this boundary. Her husband does not have to understand or agree for her to set this boundary, even if it makes things awkward for a time. Diana’s number one job is to keep her child safe.



    Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

    Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

    If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

    19 March 2024, 7:00 am
  • 33 minutes 34 seconds
    How should I approach my daughter’s upcoming baptism when I don’t believe 8-year-olds are capable of making this choice?

    In this episode, I chat with Christine and answer the question “How should I approach my daughter’s upcoming baptism when I don’t believe 8-year-olds are capable of making this choice?” Christine and her husband have several valid hesitations about their daughter getting baptized when they aren't sure that she really understands what she would be committing to.

    Christine and I unpack her concerns and I challenge the thought that her daughter has to be totally “ready” to commit to baptism before she moves forward with it. We also chat about how Christine and her husband can help their daughter develop her sense of self, how they can teach her the values that are important to them, and how they can encourage their daughter to avoid the rigid thinking that is sometimes common in the LDS Church.



    Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

    Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

    If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

    12 March 2024, 7:00 am
  • 24 minutes 10 seconds
    How can I stay engaged and active in the LDS Church as a working mom and a feminist?

    In this episode I talk with Sylvia and answer the question “How can I stay engaged and active in the LDS Church as a working mom and a feminist?” Sylvia shares the story of a painful experience at Church that has left her wondering if she sustains her leaders. In fact, she has chosen not to renew her temple recommend because she isn’t sure if she can sustain her current bishopric.

    The word sustain has two main definitions. I used to think that sustain meant agree, but I see the word differently now. We talk about what the word actually means, and I invite Sylvia to consider what it would mean if it were okay for her to disagree with her leaders. Ultimately, we each get to decide what it means to us to sustain.



    Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

    Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

    If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

    5 March 2024, 8:00 am
  • 28 minutes 27 seconds
    How do I know if I want kids because I genuinely want them or because it’s always been expected of me?

    In today’s episode, I talk with Nicole and answer the question “How do I know if I want kids because I genuinely want them or because it’s always been expected of me?” After a recent break up caused by her partner not wanting to have children, Nicole is hoping to gain some clarity as to what she wants for her future and why.

    Nicole and I talk about how to have a meaningful life with or without children, if it matters at the end of the day if she does want kids because it’s what she’s always assumed her future would hold, and how important it is to develop herself in every stage of life. She comes away from our conversation with a clarity on what she wants for her future—give this episode a listen to hear what she decides.



    Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

    Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

    If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

    27 February 2024, 8:00 am
  • 17 minutes 12 seconds
    How can I talk about boundaries with my narcissistic mother-in-law who turns everything into my fault?

    In today’s episode I chat with Morgan and answer the question “How can I talk about boundaries with my narcissistic mother-in-law who turns everything into my fault?” Morgan describes what interactions with her mother-in-law are typically like, and from what I hear it sounds like Morgan is doing a good job interacting with her. From my perspective, the bigger problem is between Morgan and her husband.

    There are important conversations Morgan and her husband need to have regarding boundaries and his family. Until she and her husband have basic agreements about what is appropriate to say or do when it comes to his family, there’s not a lot Morgan can do except distance herself from her mother-in-law to avoid being hurt.


    Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

    Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

    If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

    13 February 2024, 8:00 am
  • 24 minutes 59 seconds
    How do I learn to trust myself when I feel a disconnect between what I learn in therapy and what I hear at Church?

    In today’s episode, I talk with Kelly and answer the question “How do I learn to trust myself when I feel a disconnect between what I learn in therapy and what I hear at Church?” I know that a lot of listeners are going to relate to our discussion.

    Kelly shares that she feels two parts of her life—therapy and the Church—have been influential and helpful, but that they are currently at odds. During our time together we talk about Fowler’s Stages of Faith and how Kelly is moving from trusting external authority (sources like Church leaders or teachers) to trusting internal authority (trusting herself to know what is best for her life). 

    It’s confusing to have conflicting messages from two important things in your life, and it takes practice to sort through these feelings. I invite Kelly to give herself grace as she learns how to trust herself and reframe her thinking.



    Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

    Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

    If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

    6 February 2024, 8:00 am
  • 43 minutes 23 seconds
    How can I be present when grief is always reminding me of what could have been?

    Listen as I talk with Jennifer and answer the question “How can I be present when grief is always reminding me of what could have been?“ Jennifer shares the story of her relationship, her husband’s cancer diagnosis, and her experience of being a new mom of twins while navigating the grief of losing her husband. Now, five years later, she feels split between being present in her daily life and grieving the life she didn’t get to live with her late husband.

    Jennifer and I talk more about what it really means to be present in her life. She describes the cloud she feels hanging over her, reminding her of what could have been. We discuss how accepting that her family looks different doesn’t dishonor her late husband—it can help her find more peace with her current reality.

    You can find Jennifer on Instagram @cocoscaravan



    Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

    Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

    If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

    30 January 2024, 8:00 am
  • 56 minutes 40 seconds
    Bonus Episode: How to Stay Connected to the LDS Church in a Psychologically Healthy Way with Valerie Hamaker

    This bonus episode of the podcast is for anyone who is wanting to stay in The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints while also protecting their mental health. Listen as fellow LDS therapist Valerie Hamaker and I share insight on important topics like why people choose to stay in the LDS Church after a faith transition and how to develop the crucial skill of setting boundaries.

    Choosing to Stay? How to Stay Connected to the LDS Church in a Psychologically Healthy Way

    If you choose to stay and want to protect your mental health, Valerie and I are hosting a discussion series just for you. This 4-week Q&A discussion series will help you find clarity, set boundaries, and stay connected to the LDS Church in a psychologically healthy way.

    Bring your questions about your complex relationship with the Church, including:

    • Difficult family relationships
    • Trust crisis about Church history & doctrine
    • Feelings of betrayal
    • Struggles with social justice issues (women, BIPOC, LGBTQ)
    • Benefits of Church participation

    Each two-hour session is held remotely via Zoom. Spots are extremely limited, so don’t wait to sign up.

    Four two-hour sessions with two therapists is an absolute steal of a deal. While this series is valued at $2,000, you can sign up today for only $169.

    Choosing to stay in the Church but want to do it in a psychologically healthy way? Let us help you.⁠

    Secure your spot (limited availability) today 

    Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

    Have you ever thought, “I want to ask Dr. Julie Hanks a question”? Well, now’s your chance! I want to have you on my podcast! Click here to fill out this form and tell me your question. I might just pick you to be on the podcast and receive a free coaching session.

    Thank you for listening to the Ask Dr. Julie Hanks podcast. Please click here to leave me a review. And make sure you don’t miss an episode by following me on Apple Podcast and Spotify.

    If you have found this information helpful, you can find additional resources on this topic in my podcast and my online courses. Connect with me on social media @drjuliehanks and work with me through joining DJH membership at drjuliehanks.com. For therapy in Utah visit wasatchfamilytherapy.com.

    23 January 2024, 8:00 am
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