Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Rick Hanson, Ph.D., Forrest Hanson

  • 1 hour 26 minutes
    Understanding and Overcoming Social Anxiety: Attachment, Exposure, and Confidence

    In this episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest explore the all-too-common challenge of social anxiety. They break down what it really means to be socially anxious (hint: it's not just being shy), where those feelings come from, and why they stick around. Rick explains the roots of social anxiety, highlighting the role of attachment styles and individual temperament, before Forrest shares how to locate yourself on a spectrum from everyday nervousness to Social Anxiety Disorder. They then discuss evidence-based approaches to working with social anxiety like exposure therapy, cognitive defusion, and mindfulness techniques. Whether you experience feelings of anxiety or are trying to understand a friend who does, this episode will help you feel more confident and connected.

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:45: What is social anxiety?

    7:10: Where does social anxiety come from?

    13:40: Feeling worthy, and other social factors

    17:00: Nature vs. nurture

    24:15: Social Anxiety Disorder (SAD) and comorbid diagnoses

    29:50: Exposure therapy, and how to practice it safely

    42:00: Positive reinforcement, and responding to ruminative thoughts

    55:45: Widening our view, and taking in the good

    1:03:15: Talking with younger parts, and self-compassion

    1:10:15: Normalizing anxiety

    1:11:35: Recap

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    7 October 2024, 10:00 am
  • 36 minutes 22 seconds
    Feed Drop: Exploring the Benefits of Peer-Based and Family Therapy - Turning Points Podcast

    In our first feed drop, we’re sharing the first episode of Season 4 of the Turning Points Podcast. The host of Turning Points is therapist Frantzces Lys, and in this episode she explores family and peer-based approaches to therapy. 

    Frantzces is joined by two guests, first Charles Daniels, the CEO and co-founder of Fathers’ Uplift, an organization that provides therapy, coaching, and advocacy for fathers. And second, Gina Connor, a clinical social worker who specializes treating eating disorders, trauma, anxiety, and life transitions through individual and group therapy. 

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    5:00: First guest - Charles Daniels

    23:10: Second guest - Gina Connor

    33:30: Recap


    I hope you enjoy this episode of the Turning Points podcast. Subscribe here: https://sponsored.bostonglobe.com/point32health/turning-points/


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    2 October 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 15 minutes
    The Dark Triad: Dealing with Narcissists, Sociopaths, and Other Toxic People

    Dr. Rick and Forrest unpack the "Dark Triad" of personality traits - narcissism, Machiavellianism, and sociopathy - and explore how these traits can manifest in everyday relationships. They talk about how individuals with these tendencies use charm and manipulation to control situations and people, and offer practical strategies for identifying these traits in others. You’ll learn how to set boundaries, protect yourself from manipulation, and develop a thoughtful, empathetic approach when navigating relationships with those who exhibit these challenging behaviors. The episode also explores self-care in difficult dynamics, the ethical considerations in labeling others, and how to manage unavoidable interactions with people who display these traits. It’s essential listening for anyone who has encountered toxic behavior, and wants to learn how to deal with it more effectively.

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction and disclaimers

    3:50: The Dark Triad: Narcissism, Machiavellianism, and Sociopathy

    7:40: Charisma, privilege, and why some people get away with antisocial behavior

    16:10: Sensitivity to criticism, viewing people as means to ends, and other evidence

    22:35: Being careful about labeling people

    28:50: Developing awareness, and grieving reality

    33:10: Boundaries and safety

    38:00: Limiting the scope of the relationship

    42:20: How to break through the “fuzz” in communication

    49:25: Transference, and when it’s safe to confront people

    55:15: Self-care in unavoidable situations

    59:15: When you notice these tendencies in yourself

    1:02:10: Recap

    I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

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    30 September 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 9 minutes
    How to Build a Securely Attached Relationship with Julie Menanno

    Forrest sits down with marriage and family therapist Julie Menanno to explore one of the most crucial aspects of healthy relationships: secure attachment. They discuss the impact of anxious, avoidant, and secure attachment patterns, and provide practical advice on identifying and communicating attachment needs, fostering emotional safety, and addressing the common anxious-avoidant partner dynamic. Julie highlights the importance of emotional validation and recommends strategies for communicating from the heart. Forrest and Julie then talk about what we can learn from how securely attached couples navigate conflict and repair. 

    This episode is perfect for anyone looking to strengthen their relationships!

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:20: Attachment styles and emotional safety

    4:30: Identifying and meeting attachment needs

    12:45: How attachment styles shape our relationships

    19:30: The “anxious-avoidant” partner dynamic

    26:55: Communicating from the heart

    32:40: Emotional validation

    35:55: Conflict and repair in a securely attached relationship

    44:55: How a therapist manages escalation and overwhelm

    50:35: The power of choice in relationships

    56:35: Recap

    I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

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    23 September 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 13 minutes
    Social Anxiety, Self-Advocacy, and Too Much Self-Help: September Mailbag

    Dr. Rick and Forrest dive into the mailbag, and answer questions from listeners focused on working with anxiety in ourselves and our relationships. They start with a question that’s essential to the podcast as a whole: is it possible to be too preoccupied with personal growth? Rick talks about how to manage the desire for approval, offering strategies to foster self-acceptance and healthier self-validation, before Forrest shares his own journey with finding the right amount of try-hard. They then discuss how to create more collaborative decisions in relationships. Additional topics include self-motivation and peak performance, working with diverse needs, and diagnostic “scope creep.”

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:05: Am I too preoccupied with self-help and personal growth?

    11:20: How do I address my unquenchable thirst for approval?

    27:15: How can I tell if I’m actually doing my best?

    36:40: How do I advocate for more collaborative decision making with my partner?

    54:15: How does the brain’s natural pursuit of novelty balance with its desire for safety?

    1:03:30: Recap

    I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Connect with the show:

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    16 September 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 6 minutes
    Cognitive Bypassing, Traumatic Experiences, and Managing Triggers with Simone Saunders

    Forrest dives into cognitive bypassing - a common strategy many of us use to avoid feeling difficult emotions - with trauma therapist Simone Saunders. Simone and Forrest discuss the connection between cognitive bypassing and trauma before exploring somatic tools that can help us avoid an endless cycle of overthinking, and fully process our experiences. They focus on the “freeze” and “fawn” stress responses, and talk about how these responses can impact our relationships and everyday interactions. The conversation widens from there to include topics like letting go of unhealthy relationships, navigating the shame that can come with self-awareness, working through triggers, finding more agency, and changing our models of conflict. 

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:25: What’s cognitive bypassing?

    5:55: Somatic approaches, and widening the window of tolerance

    18:10: The freeze and fawn responses

    22:25: Grieving letting go of unhealthy relationships

    26:20: Shame, the problem with self-awareness, and identifying your values

    35:35: How to move through “first contact” with our triggers

    38:05: Feeling connected to others

    41:55: Agency, and being embodied in a relationship

    47:30: Changing how we see conflict

    51:15: Grief as self-awareness, and expressing ourselves

    57:25: Recap

    I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Connect with the show:

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    9 September 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 17 minutes
    Navigating Parenthood: What Every Dad Needs to Know

    In this special conversation, Forrest explores what it means to be a good father with his dad, clinical psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson. They discuss the joys, challenges, and unexpected lessons of parenthood, starting with the advice Rick would have given himself. Rick and Forrest tackle the mental health challenges new parents face, focusing particularly on maintaining a strong relationship between partners. They get real about their relationship, and Rick offers practical strategies for "resetting" with your partner during stressful times. 

    They then talk about different approaches to parenting, and how to find a healthy balance of authority, aspiration, and nurturance. Whether you’re navigating the path of parenthood, reflecting on your relationship with your own parents, or just looking to gain some insight into the father-son dynamic, this episode has something for everyone. 

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    2:00: Did becoming a dad change Rick’s relationship with his parents?

    5:05: What advice would Rick give a younger version of himself?

    8:45: Biological stressors, and the mental health challenges of young parents

    17:00: Maintaining closeness with your children while working

    21:40: How to “reset” with your partner

    32:15: Savoring the good times

    35:35: Authority, aspiration, and nurturance

    44:30: Parenting the child you have, and emotional regulation

    51:10: Recognizing that kids are not tiny adults

    57:55: Staying consistent

    1:00:30: How to practice for becoming a parent

    1:03:00: Recap

    I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

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    2 September 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 6 minutes
    How to Live in an Anxious World: Uncertainty, Agency, and Resilience

    In this timely episode, Dr. Rick and Forrest tackle the anxiety and uncertainty so many are feeling about the state of today’s world. They discuss why everything feels so overwhelming right now, share practical ways to manage those emotions, and explore how we can stay grounded, take ownership of what we can control, and maintain a sense of connection with others. Topics include managing uncertainty, wise skepticism, developing agency, accepting impermanence, and understanding grief as a deep form of love and connection. Whether you're feeling anxious about global events or just navigating daily life, this episode offers practical advice for building resilience.

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:55: Why do things feel so terrifying?

    11:45: A typical response to the state of the world

    17:40: Recognizing how much uncertainty there is

    25:35: Feeling grounded in your personal integrity

    32:30: Taking ownership of what you are able to contribute

    39:00: Our felt sense of connection with others

    44:20: Accepting impermanence

    49:00: Grief as a form of love and connection

    54:15: Recap

    I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

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    26 August 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 20 minutes
    Embracing Perfectionism with Katherine Morgan Schafler

    Forrest explores how we can harness perfectionism’s strengths without getting captured by its vulnerabilities with therapist and author Katherine Morgan Schafler. They talk about perfectionism’s bad branding, and how our relationship with perfectionism can lead to it being either a superpower or a stumbling block. They discuss the different types of perfectionists, the limitations of defining perfectionism merely as a defense against criticism, and the importance of shifting our language around self-criticism. You’ll learn about the difference between power and control, why self-compassion beats self-punishment, and how to keep perfectionism in check while still reaching your goals.

    About our Guest: Katherine is a psychotherapist, former on-site therapist at Google, and author of the recent book The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control: A Path to Peace and Power.

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:35: Defining perfectionism

    6:00: Ideals, identity, and asking yourself how and why you’re striving

    12:40: The five types of perfectionists

    21:55: Why defining perfectionism as a ‘defense against criticism’ falls short

    28:20: Changing our vocabulary around self-criticism

    34:00: Why self-punishment doesn’t work

    38:10: The difference between power and control

    44:40: Splitting vs. scaling, and reaching out for connection

    49:10: When perfectionistic tendencies invade our relationships

    54:10: The intention that drives real goals, and finding your metric for measuring success

    1:07:10: Recap

    I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

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    19 August 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 8 minutes
    The Shadow: Individuation, Wholeness, and Becoming Your True Self

    Dr. Rick and Forrest explore one of the most interesting concepts in psychology: Carl Jung’s concept of the shadow. The shadow includes the “the things a person has no wish to be,” the uncomfortable aspects of ourselves that we deny or ignore. Facing those parts can be difficult, but becoming aware of the shadow, accepting it, and integrating it allows us to embrace all of who we are. 

    They start by explaining what the shadow is, where it comes from, and why it’s valuable. Rick shares some examples of shadow material, what we lose by leaving them behind, and how we can start reintegrating them. Forrest talks about modern approaches to shadow work, and viewing the shadow through a less dualistic lens. They then map out the “typical” path of what is usually a highly individualized process. 

    Hope you enjoy it!

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction

    1:50: Defining the shadow - things we leave out, or don’t care to know

    4:30: Individuation

    12:05: Some examples of shadow material

    18:35: What do we lose by not incorporating the shadow?

    23:10: Agency, creativity, authenticity, and unrecognized capabilities

    26:50: Patience, knowing your why, inner refuge, and befriending parts

    32:00: Acceptance, awareness of projection, and being in dialog with our shadow

    38:10: Deliberate practice, stepping into the wild, and showing curiosity

    46:25: The golden shadow, and accepting impulses vs. acting on them

    55:30: Recap

    I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

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    12 August 2024, 10:00 am
  • 1 hour 14 minutes
    Dealing with Other People’s Defenses

    Forrest and Dr. Rick tackle the tricky topic of dealing with other people’s psychological defenses. It’s often easier to see other people’s defenses than to see our own, which can make them particularly frustrating to deal with. In this episode, Rick and Forrest explore the psychological and communication skills that will allow you to have more successful conversations.

    They start with a quick summary of what psychological defenses are and how they operate, before talking about recognizing our biases, showing empathy, and establishing a productive tone. Rick explains how to break the cycle of counterattacks that can happen when people get defensive, and how to balance different needs for closeness and distance. Topics include effective communication skills, moving from criticism toward values, managing frustration, and helping other people become more self-aware.

    You can watch this episode on YouTube.

    Key Topics:

    0:00: Introduction, psychological defenses recap

    3:40: Why can’t we see other people’s defenses?

    10:35: Recognizing our own vulnerabilities, and showing empathy

    14:20: Setting the tone

    20:10: Disrupting the cycle of counterattacks 

    24:20: Approaching differing needs for closeness and distance

    31:15: Joining with empathy before escalating requests

    38:55: A mutual orientation toward growth

    41:45: Seeing openings for dialog when they present themselves

    43:40: Basing dialog around values vs. criticism

    47:40: Managing frustration

    53:25: Is there any way to help others become more self-aware?

    1:01:35: Recap

    I am now writing on Substack, check out my work there. 

    Support the Podcast: We're now on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.

    Sponsors

    Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell

    Transform your health with the ZOE Science & Nutrition podcast. Find it wherever you listen to podcasts.

    Trust your gut with Seed’s DS-01 Daily Synbiotic. Go to Seed.com/BEINGWELL and use code 25BEINGWELL to get 25% off your first month. 

    OneSkin focuses on delivering more than superficial results for your skin. Get started today with 15% off using code BEINGWELL at oneskin.co

    Join over a million people using BetterHelp, the world’s largest online counseling platform. Visit betterhelp.com/beingwell for 10% off your first month!

    Connect with the show:

    Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

    5 August 2024, 10:00 am
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